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| July 21st is a special day for me. Christmas, for me, comes in July - on July 21st! Today is a special July 21st for me because we just welcomed daughter into this world last month. Our three and a half year old is thrilled to be a big brother and commandeered the day - so we are headed to Chuck-E-Cheese! As I enter this new season, I'm thinking of what the rest of my life will be. Life is short and we need to constantly be asking ourselves the question, "Am I living a life that is making a difference for those around me?" Bob Buford once said, “None of us know when we will die, but all of us, if we wish, can select our own epitaph”. Man's greatest challenge is to live a life that leaves a solid legacy behind him. This July 21st, I'm asking myself ten key questions that will determine the rest of my life. Here are the ten key questions that are foremost in my heart right now (there's a bonus question after the ten):
1. Am I going to be one of the boys and get the affirmation of mediocrity or will I step out of the herd and blaze a trail of accomplishment?
The idea of affirming people has been around for a long time. Dale Carnegie’s 1936 masterpiece, ‘How to Win Friends and influence People’, has helped so many people over the years to develop a people-centered perspective that has enabled them to empower others positively. I would highly suggest a reading of the book. When you focus on self, all you care about is personal accomplishments. But when you learn to affirm others, you empower them to accomplish great things.
2. Will I be enticed by the promises of wealth or will I live an epic life based on my true capacity?
Nothing excites me more than the person who gives up financial gain for the sake of developing his or her personal potential. When you live with such a philosophy, growth is never a problem. It’s potential-centered thinking that sets the pace for the kind of legacy a person will leave behind. Again, when one is not blossoming in life, the pre-dominant question is “What can I get (or receive) from this situation?” When one is in bloom, the pre-dominant question is “How can I grow in this situation?”
3. Am I tempted by the life of ease and play now, or am I motivated by the desire for living my best life possible?
There are two kinds of people in life: eagles and turkeys. Turkeys are usually show-offs. Nothing pleasures them more than just having fun - 24/7. Then there are eagles. These are usually focused and goal-oriented people. They'd rather engage in something that enables them to grow and grow others than just play and have fun all the time.
4. Do I want to live a life of comfort and convenience or will I soar towards a better life in which I make an even greater difference in society?
John F. Kennedy said, ” And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you -ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.” Most people are looking for security from their leaders. Those who blossom in life find ways in which they can significantly contribute to their country and community.
5. Am I going to settle for the acceptance of my peers and friends or will I aim for the excellence that comes from the pursuit of a cause that is greater than my personal dreams?
Do you know what happens to crabs in a bucket? As one of them tries to make it's way out of the bucket, the others will always pull it down. Think of people now. Many people don't even attempt to climb out of the bucket because they enjoy the acceptance of mediocrity. They'd rather hang with the boys and girls rather than excel with the men and women who are making a difference.
6. Am I satisfied with adding value to my community or will I go for the more rewarding joy of multiplying value to the world?
Value multipliers impact and influence other people greatly. The great thing about being a value multiplier is that you are able to empower people to be organized and do something positive. What a beauty! You multiply value by passing along the best in yourself to other people. I’m always pleased when I hear from people I led in high school and at the university. They always say things like, “Herman, that idea was awesome. It took our group to a whole new level.” While those short-term moves were great for whichever group I led, the best thing is that they felt empowered.
7. Will I be a jack of all trades and master of none or will I stand out from the pack and be a master of one thing?
This is my pet peeve. We engage ourselves in too many things nowadays. I acknowledge that in life we have to wear many hats but it becomes a problem when those hats don't fit us! You've got to find the hats that fit you. You were born with purpose and potential inside you. The sun's rays do not burn unless brought to a point of focus. Find your magnifying glass and let those rays burn!
8. Am I going to fill up my life with things and events or will I go for the right things and events?
Most people’s undoing is that they short-change themselves by being involved in too many things. Life for them is measured in numbers - how many activities, how many parties, how many friends, etc. They believe that the more events/activities they engage in, the better their lives will be. Wrong! We need to go for quality. It's not how much activity you engage in but the productivity you manifest! It's not how many parties you go to, but the quality of the parties. It's not how many friends you have but the richness of the friendships you have.
9. Is my prime desire to have a stable life or am I willing to tap into the joy of living significantly?
We live in a unique day and age. It's so easy to live a stable life by simply being mediocre. I think we need to go beyond stability to success. You may have seen the movie Click. I'll put my own spin on it. It's about this guy who wants to live a stable life and acquires a remote from Bed, Bath and Beyond that enables him to control virtually every aspect of his life. We can't control everything in life. Success comes when we engage with variables that we can't control. Let's go BEYOND stability. Let's strive for success.
10. Am I laboring in my work at the expense of my family or am I creating a legacy for those whom I love and society in general?
Nothing dominates life more than work. Every day we are working! Small wonder that the Sabbath was created for us. Even though we must work to keep in order to keep life moving, we must do so in the context of family. Work should not revolve around family but family around work. My family is my first priority, not my work. I am a family man, not a work horse!
Bonus Question Am I living for the next level or developing a legacy for and with my family, friends and people in general? People today are consumed with the idea of going to the next level in their lives, be it in their relationships, careers, finances or other area of life. July 21st might seem like going to the next level for me but I find the idea of going to the next level to be too limiting. My paradigm is that we need to be consumed with the idea of the kind of legacy we will leave behind at the end of the seasons of our lives. Thinking about your legacy every day, rather than thinking about the next level only, makes you a better leader. Thinking about a legacy makes you other-people centered while thinking about going to the next level tends to make one self-centered. | | |
| Honey I want to say a big thank you for all you have been/done and will always be/do for our family. I'm always moved by the grace with which you carry yourself and the patience that you model to me. Your loving care for Jumba inspires me and reinforces within me the truth that I am blessed to have you as my wife. The biggest thing you have done for me is to be yourself. Your passion for us and our future ignites within me the desire to always give and be my very best to you.
Your sense of focus to pursue our family's dream with purpose and dedication. You have been my greatest confidant and I am honored to have your trust and love. You have traveled with me halfway round the world and shown love, care and concern for my family. You have embraced my homeland as your own and my heritage as yours. You have loved my family and my people as your own. You, honey, are a woman of nobility. Yet till brown clay be crammed down my larynx, only gratitude for you will flow out of it. Thank you! For you my love, here's our song: I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you | | |
| Well, here we are! It's Summer Residency week at Indiana Wesleyan University and all systems are go for a doctoral blast through the organizational leadership continuum. I arrived at the Campus in Marion on Saturday morning at about 7:30 am after a four hour drive from Cincinnati. I was signed in and registered. I'm in Marion Hall, room 315. It's really a fun campus. We have bonded very well as a class and cohort and it's exciting to see everyone and hear what their goals, plans, hopes and dreams are. I am the first student from Africa to pursue a doctoral degree at Indiana Wesleyan University. It is a huge honor and blessing that I do not take lightly. I am truly grateful to God for this opportunity and will seek to do my very best in being an effective representative of His calling on my life. Hearing from the second and third year students, the journey is tough but the system of support is tight. I am committed to graduating within the minimum amount of time allotted to thsi course: three years. So, I'm buckling up and getting ready for the ride of a lifetime. This is really the first time I am away from my son. It's been great talking to him and my wife over the phone but I truly miss them. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I recorded some videos and have shared them with my family. I will try and video blog every couple of days. It's an exciting experience and I love it! | | |
| Next month (on July 12th), I will be in Indiana for about one week as I officially start the summer residency that will keep me tied to books and study for the next three to four years as I work on my doctorate. As the day draws nigh, I find myself filled with the anticipation and excitement of pursuing a dream yet humbled by a deep understanding that it is only by God’s hand that I have come this far and only through His grace will I be able to keep on. I find myself really thinking about the implications of this opportunity. It is a dream that has been long in the making and my gratitude goes to God for making it possible and even supplying for my tuition plus related needs even before I get started. I am truly excited that this has come to pass and my faith is that it will bear fruit in many different ways. The truth, however is that I am overwhelmed by the knowledge that the next three to four years will be huge. My sense of overwhelm comes from the knowledge that tremendous uncertainty lies ahead. This is wholly a God-thing and I realize that I have to totally rely on His grace and wisdom. While people easily say that you have to live by faith, many fail to capture the true essence of faith. I say this because my life has been a series of jumps from one level of faith to another. It all started with my attempting to capture glimpses of my destiny and then writing them down about nine years ago. Then came my faith that I would be able to travel to the US. I thought I was so rich coming here with only US 140 in my pocket and a 21-inch suitcase yet I have managed to sustain myself now going into seven years. Then the next leap was believing that I could pursue my masters degree and pay for it all by myself. That was a huge faith move that I had no idea I could pull through but look at where I am now. Every single moment of my life is seemingly being laced with a band of faith that I am continually striving to embrace and learning how to fully appropriate into my experience. Now comes this huge step – pursuing my terminal degree - which for me is the ultimate journey of educational and academic excellence since it's implications are immense and the potential of it's ripple effects astounding in magnitude. You know, one might look at all that I am doing and think that I am a very confident and bold person but the truth is that deep down there is that constant fight between the tangible and the intangible. I feel almost like a sky-diver just about to jump out of a plane, not knowing what to expect once he leaves that which he can see, touch, feel and smell. He looks down at the sheer expanse of sky down below and he knows that the flight will be exhilarating but he shudders at the idea that anything could happen that could potentially alter his entire life. What does he do? Should he jump out of the plane and experience the finite limitless or should he stay in the plane and forever live in the infinite limited? What should he do? You ask, "Is he scared?" You bet he is!! You quip, "But he's conquered almost similar challenges before!" Yes, he has but no one ever stepped into the same river twice. Every new attempt at the impossible (even the possible that is seemingly impossible) is a whole new endeavor that calls for a rising of new human spirit empowered by God's spirit. You wonder, "What is he going to do now?" The answer to that lies within the individual because every one of us is a sky diver whether we know it or not. What separates the true divers from those who never do it is GANAS. It all begins with that first step of just thinking about the joy of the experience. My friends, the fear rises with the approach of the moment of separation between the old and the new. The desire to hold onto that which I have known and embraced in my past, albeit even as short a past as only seven years since I came to the US, tugs at my inner being. With an equally opposing force, the longing to step out of the boat and walk on the water consumes every marrow in my bone. What will I do? Go for that which I have never ever done before or stick with that which I have tried and done? Should I log-on and experience the quantum life or should I camp in this valley and live the ordinary life? What makes a champion, the former or the latter? Yes, I know the answer but then that doesn't eradicate the momentary fear that continually infiltrates my very attempt at clarity of thought. Do I want to live the rain-lashed life or should I forever stay under the cover and warmth of a roof over my head? Should I go out there and rub my shoulders against the friction that elevates purpose or should I hold my peace in my little domain where everything is just as I want it to be? Susan Jeffers, PhD, wrote a book and produced audio-tapes on the subject, "Feel the fear, but do it anyway". Nike lives and operates by the slogan, "Just do it!" God governs His earthly kingdom with the motto, "The just shall live by faith". Ralph Waldo Emerson left his stamp on this page of human experience by saying, "Courage is not the absence of fear but the conquest of fear". Well, many have left their personal stamps on the hall of difference-makers and gotten their names forever engraved on the wall of legacy but then they all had to experience many fears. The sky-diver in the doorway of the plane. His moment to take the plunge has come, but he is experiencing all sorts of things. A million thoughts are running through his head. He's got a weak stomach. His knees are wobbly. His heart is faint within him. His mind is stodgy. Is he going to dive? Does he know that there are many invisible fathers of faith cheering him from the balcony of heaven? Does he trust that if anything goes wrong his father will send an angel to cushion his landing? What will THIS sky-diver do??? Stay tuned to find out. | | |
| I just learnt that I've been accepted into the Doctoral in Organizational Leadership program at Indiana Wesleyan University. I'm thrilled and full of gratitude to God. I mean, this is the first step towards attaining an academic position in research and teaching at a leading universities or leadership opportunities in business, hospital and health care executive level administration or faith based organizations and/or research foundations. It could also potentially elevate my credentials for operating my own business or organization. It's a huge blessing and I'm super-grateful to God for this opportunity. Please keep me in your prayers as I explore financing possibilities and opportunities. God is great! | | |
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